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I doubt anyone has ever accused Mark Carter of being a genius, and he showed why Sunday when he allegedly tried to rob an Amish couple when their horse and buggy was stopped at an intersection in Hartly, Delaware.

According to the couple, Mr. Carter jumped out of his vehicle, displayed a handgun and demanded money. When the couple was unable to provide any money, Mr. Carter jumped back in his car and sped away.

Unfortunately for Mark, he forgot about the clearly identifiable series of numbers and letters on his license plate, and as he was leaving, the couple put quill to parchment and wrote them down. Police were then able to quickly apprehend him and make an arrest.

I would love to sit down with Mark and discuss his thought process prior to the robbery. Did he think the Amish still used old-time money like gold doubloons or pieces of silver? Maybe they kept all their valuables in a little treasure box like on the old stagecoaches. All he had to do was grab that strong box, shoot off the lock and he would be on easy street.

And while we’re analyzing this, why even bother with a gun? Did he think Amish men were packing snub-nosed flintlocks under their hats?

Let this be a lesson to any other would-be Amish robbers. There aren’t a lot of sure things in life, but if you see someone driving something pulled by a goddamned horse, you’re probably not going to get much cash from them.