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Last September Sarah Deming sued the distributors of the movie Drive because she was allegedly tricked into buying a ticket. She said the movie was promoted in a way that made it appear similar to the movie Fast and Furious, which it wasn’t, and the previews highlighted the action scenes, when there wasn’t much action in the movie. For good measure she also said the movie portrayed Jews in a negative light.

I don’t really remember what I wrote about Ms. Deming last September, but let’s just say it probably wasn’t kind. I’m also going to go out on a limb here and guess the words “stupid cunt” and “retard” were probably used, and even though you couldn’t see it, I was making a dismissive wanking motion with one hand the whole time I was typing.

It turns out I never actually saw the movie Drive, but since it was directed by Nicolas Refn, who did the Pusher flicks and the movie Bronson, which I liked, I just assumed Sarah Deming was a moron and the movie was over her little melon head.

Well, I finally got around to seeing it, and goddamn I hated this movie. I hated it more than childless women hate laws limiting abortion. I hated it more than Farrakhan hates Jews. I had to invent the word “haged” to fully capture the hate and rage I felt after sitting through this piece of crap.

This movie was nothing but an empty shell. It had some atmospheric nods to 80s flicks like purple cursive credits and a synth soundtrack, but it was missing things like backstory, a well-paced plot and an ending that wasn’t a joke. They also could have entitled this pile of shit Blank Stare because that’s all Ryan Gosling does for half of it.

If I wanted to look into a pair of dead doll’s eyes for an hour I’d rent something with Angelina Jolie. I expected better from you, Refn.

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