It’s not easy being an “environmental activist.” Your job at the pet store barely pays the bills, your diet of Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew leaves you dangerously susceptible to scurvy, and sometimes you chain and glue yourself to the wrong gas pumps to protest an issue you barely understand.
Such was the case last week in Bolton England as four half-wits affiliated with Frack Free Greater Manchester decided to strike a blow against the make-believe environmental damage caused by using fracking to extract natural gas.
They were unhappy because the French gas company Total has decided to invest about $50 million in UK shale gas extraction, and to teach the company a lesson, they put on oil-based polyethylene suits and glued and locked themselves to the gas pumps of their local Total station.
There was only one problem. The station was recently sold to another company, but the owner, Reezwan Patel, had not yet changed the signs.
When it was all said and done, these fracking morons caused thousands of dollars’ worth of damage and hurt an innocent business, but they’re happy with what they accomplished.
Sophie Baxter, a member of Frack Free said, “We were very proud of the guys who did this today and were cheering when he heard about it.”
Seriously? It’s too bad you can’t grasp the fact that clean-burning shale gas emits half the carbon dioxide per unit of energy as does coal, and the fact that Europe is increasing its reliance on coal while discouraging fracking makes absolutely no goddamned sense.