peniscar Three Saudis and a Sudanese man were recently convicted of a brutal home invasion where a family was robbed, and the perpetrators then tied up the man and his daughter and took turns raping his wife.

The Saudi court has been criticized for their sentence, but it seems very fair to me. The main ringleader of the crime was sentenced to 17 years prison and 2,500 lashes, and the other three pieces of human garbage were given 1,500 lashes each and sentences ranging from 5 to 15 years.

Predictably, there has been an international outcry from the usual suspects of pussies and crybabies, I’m looking at you Amnesty International, but I feel like these sentences were far more appropriate than just locking these animals in a box and feeding them for decades.

Call me crazy, but I think all punishments should actually fit the crimes, and I mean that literally. If you commit arson, you get a short prison sentence and we put all of your shit in a pile and set it on fire while you watch.

If you deal drugs, we show you the pain of addiction by lacing your food with various addictive substances and then they’re withdrawn without warning so you can detox in your 6×8 cell.

And for the worst criminals of all, those Godless, heartless heathens who drive too slow in the left lane and cause traffic slowdowns, I have a perfectly appropriate punishment in mind.

You can either surrender your license for 10 years or pay a $5,000 conversion fee to turn your vehicle into a 10-foot latex penis so all of the other drivers will know what an insufferable little cock you are.