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cooking According to a study released last week by the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid, husbands who perform womanly chores like cooking, cleaning and shopping actually have less sex than husbands who do manly things like cut the grass or work on the cars.

According to the study’s lead author, Sabino Kornrich, people are pre-programed to be aroused when they see their spouse performing typical gender tasks, and that is an important igniter of sexual arousal.

I for one am shocked. Not about the findings, but that only in our stupid politically correct world would this warrant research. Real men already know that few things excite us more than seeing our wives on their knees scrubbing something. It’s like Spanish Fly, oysters and Viagra for us.

If you up the ante and add a loose-fitting tank top to the mix, you might as well dust off the crib because it’s about to be baby-makin’ time.

As much as women deny it, at their core they want a real man around the house, and if you’re a dude who wears an apron or has dishpan hands, they secretly think you’re a giant pussy and hate you.

For those men, it’s time you stood up and started acting like you have a pair. And don’t be afraid to put your foot down if needed.

Sure, your wife may complain when you give her an Irish kiss when dinner isn’t ready on time, and she may threaten to leave you and/or fuck your brother again if you lay another finger on her, but that’s the feminism talking.

You just need to pour yourself a whiskey, and keep pouring them until it either magically becomes 1850 or you black out.