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It’s currently Monday afternoon, and if the media is to be believed, the wrath of an angry God is about to descend on Washington, D.C. come sundown. When the storm makes landfall, a wall of water thirty feet high is expected to wash over the city, and those of us who survive will be forced to fight for scraps in a ruined wasteland.

Part of me actually hopes this happens.

The problem with the media is they’re so prone to hyperbole; it’s tough to trust them. We live in a sound bite society, and reasonable discourse is too often drowned out by exaggerated shouts and histrionics. It seems like every two years we have a new “storm of the century,” and it’s a wonder any of us have made it through.

So far today we’ve had a rain storm and some wind, but the federal government is closed, as is train service and the Metro. My work also closed, but since we’re located 100 feet from the Potomac in an area of Alexandria that floods if three squirrels take a piss at the same time, that was probably a reasonable precaution.

What isn’t reasonable is what I just saw at Home Depot. The power is still on in my area, but people were buying generators off the delivery truck for $800 a pop. To put that cost into perspective, that’s the same price as 228 Big Macs or 40 blowjobs from a truck stop hooker.

Instead of forking over that much money for something you’re going to use once every three years, it makes more sense to me to spend $10 on a book and another $10 on a few bags of ice. For an extra $10 you can get 12 bottles of crisp, refreshing Miller Lite.

Now let’s start that hurricane drunk.

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