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For some unknown reason I was reading an article about Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife, and I’ve already forgotten her name and refuse to spend the ten seconds it would take to look it up. Linda? I think it was Linda, but that could be his mannish daughter. Nope, now I’m sure of it. The wife is Linda and the hulking science experiment he calls his daughter is Brooke.

Holy shit, I take that hulking stuff back. I just looked the names up to be sure, and I found some sweet pictures of Brooke in a bikini. She should send love letters to her plastic surgeon because she looks great. There wasn’t even a hint of a former dick- bulge in her bikini bottom. That’s some fine work there.

Anyway, in the article it said Linda was on a radio show a few months ago promoting her stupid book, and she hinted Hulk Hogan had a gay affair with Brutus The Barber Beefcake. At first I dismissed that out of hand as a publicity stunt, but then I got to thinking, maybe Hulk Hogan is gay.

In hindsight, it’s not like he was trying that hard to hide it. For Christ’s sake, he was wearing red feather boas and yellow shorts for much of the 80s, and he still sports a moustache rarely seen outside of a gay snuff film. The signs are all there. Hulk Hogan is clearly gay.