In the greatest miscarriage of justice since the Sacco and Vanzetti trial, Meredith Powell, a moderately attractive twenty-four-year-old math teacher in Tacoma Washington, was recently charged with two counts of third-degree child rape and one count of communication with a minor for immoral purposes.

Her alleged crime was blowing a high school kid, heavy petting with one and flirting with a third, and she supposedly sent all three a picture of herself while she was naked in her bathtub.

I don’t understand this world. It’s somehow legal to use unmanned drones to blow up women, but getting blown by one is a crime.

You could go back to the goddamned dawn of recorded history, read every papyrus scroll, cuneiform text and parchment you could find, and I promise you that no male on the planet has ever complained about getting a blowjob from a good looking woman.

And as far as I could tell this kid didn’t even have to reciprocate, which is just a bonus.

If this was my son, I’d buy him a scotch and proudly tell him that he was now a man. I’d also be happy his first time wasn’t with an overweight practice chick named Carol who reeked of Marlboro Lights and peppermint.

On a side note, I wonder what old Fat Carol is up to these days.