cage We all pretend intelligence isn’t inherited because that would call into question our current policy of paying imbeciles to breed, but it seems my three kids will inherit more than daddy’s alcoholism – they may also get some of my memories and fears.

A study from the Emory University School of Medicine exposed mice to the smell of acetophenone, which smells like orange blossoms, and then shocked the shit out of them. Not surprisingly, the mice soon became terrified of this smell and started freaking out whenever they smelled it.

That’s not a big revelation, but the kicker came when these mice reproduced, and even though the baby mice were never exposed to acetophenone, they still showed a startle response when the smell was released into their cages.

It appears this heritability can stretch for generations and is somehow conveyed by the dad’s sperm. So if you’re a man with strange phobias or fears, be prepared for your kids and grandkids to inherit them, too.

The researchers also found that mice showed structural changes in their brains which suggests experiences can be transferred into the genome and passed on.

In a way it’s good to know my petty prejudices are now hard-wired into my kids and no amount of liberal brainwashing can wipe away my fucked up genes. Praise Allah.