evil Bill Clinton has a certain sleazy charm that makes him seem fun to hang out with.

Sure he’s a scumbag, and you wouldn’t want your sister or wife to spend any time with him unsupervised, but if you’re in the mood to get more herpes from a bunch of fat chicks, Bill seems like a good wingman to help make that happen.

His wife on the other hand does not seem fun. She seems like a mean-spirited bitch who wants to rule as a queen and will plunge the earth into a thousand years of darkness.

Has Hillary Clinton signed a pact with Satan to do just that? According to the weird AM radio station I was listening to last night, she has.

And while I have no proof to that effect, I am prepared to say with absolute metaphysical certainty that Hillary Clinton made a deal with the devil, and if elected president, she will start World War III to reward her Satanic master and keep hell stocked with fresh souls.

There are 320 million Americans, and I still can’t fucking believe the Democratic Party has narrowed their top candidates down to a doddering septuagenarian socialist and a Satanist who plans to destroy all human life as we know it.

Is there literally no one else? What happened to that Martin O’Malley guy? He didn’t seem nuts, and I’m 90% sure that unlike Hillary Clinton, he didn’t sign a contract in his own blood with the Dark Lord for ultimate power.

He’s just a normal run-of-the-mill liberal who likes to ride his little bike, play his guitar and not barter with the King of Hell to plunge mankind into a fiery abyss.

How about you silly liberals show that guy a little love.

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