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scamI’m not really sure what happened to Greenpeace. Somewhere along the way it stopped being a group of hippies trying to stop nuclear testing and morphed into a soulless fundraising juggernaut that relies on suspect data and PR stunts to get cash from people with more good will than good sense.

The organization’s latest silly stunt was to convince a group of patsies to storm a Russian oil rig to protest Arctic oil drilling.  The Russkies countered by locking them all up in a detention center while an investigation is conducted.

Five have since been charged with piracy, and the other 25 are awaiting their fate.

Flabbergasted that there were actual repercussions for their actions, the “activists” are now complaining about their accommodations and have bitched about everything from the cells being too cold to there not being vegan meal options.

Wow, who would have thought detention centers located north of the Arctic Circle would be chilly.

I’ve never been to Russia, but I imagine it looks exactly like the ice planet from Return of the Jedi. Giant Yeti looking things roam the frozen wastes while humans battle them and the elements just to survive.

Plus, Russia doesn’t give a shit about its own people, much less a bunch of spoiled, prissy foreigners who are protesting ecological damage to some godforsaken wasteland no human being in their right mind will ever see anyway.

Do yourselves a favor Greenpeace. Next time you carry out one of your dumb stunts, do it in a first-world country with soft beds and warm showers. Then when you’re done you can get a little slap on the wrist and go home and bore everyone with tales of your brave battle against those greedy corporations.

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