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Kim When Kim Jong-il died back in 2011 I was afraid that the North Korean crazy train had finally reached the end of the line. No longer would a hereditary and all-powerful leader focus all of his nation’s meager resources on nukes and the military while the people starved.

Thankfully, I had nothing to worry about because Kim Jong-un is showing signs he’s every bit as nuts as his dad and grandfather. Just look at him sitting on top of that horse. God damn they look magnificent. It’s like the Marlboro Man had sex with a radioactive Korean prostitute, and Kim Jong-un was their mutant spawn.

Last week North Korea launched what’s its calling a weather satellite into space, and according to U.S. officials, it’s already tumbling out of orbit. Hopefully, it will take out one of our own “weather satellites” so the government will have slightly less ability to monitor every damn aspect of our lives.


Most experts agree North Korea doesn’t really care about the satellite, and this launch was just a test of a three-stage rocket capable of launching a nuclear payload to the U.S. West Coast. Once that technology is proven, they could use it to extort more cash from our government.

Say what you will, but considering North Korea’s foreign policy seems to be based on rejected plots for James Bond villains, this isn’t a terrible plan. Plus, their rockets are so unpredictable, if one is launched at us, it could land anywhere from Canada to Honduras. They could probably use that as leverage to get a little cash from those countries, too.

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