A fifteen-year-old girl is suing the Icelandic government because her name “Blaer,” which means light breeze in Icelandic, isn’t on the government’s list of approved names and she is referred to as “Girl” on all of her official documents.
Wait a minute, what?
It seems that in Iceland there is a list of a few thousand government sanctioned names and you either have to pick one of them or submit your name to a committee for approval. And, as stupid as that sounds, it seems Iceland isn’t alone in determining what you can and can’t name your children.
In Germany you must be able to tell the sex of the child from the name, which I agree with because I’m sick of little gender-bending names like Quinn or Addison, but you also can’t name them after objects, which is nonsense.
In Germany you also have to submit your proposed kid’s name to some goddamned government agency for approval, and it costs you money every time you make a submission.
As someone who looks at a lot of resumes, I like a certain variety in names because it makes my job easier. It allows me to quickly and efficiently weed out dangerous minorities and focus my undivided attention on hot Asians and women with obvious slut names like Brandi or Tiffany.
Another idea would be to do things like the Injuns and not give anyone a name until they earned one. If you were a bad ass, you might luck out and get a name like Ten Bears. If you’re a little fat kid, you might get something like Eats The Pie or Clogs The Toilet.
You start naming kids like that, and we could cut childhood obesity in half overnight.