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North Carolina voters just passed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, which makes 28 states with constitutional amendments and ten other states prohibiting it by statute. By that tally over three quarters of states prohibit same-sex marriage in some way.

About half of people pretend like they support gay marriage when surveyed, but the voting record doesn’t seem to support that. Gay marriage supporters have tried 31 times to get voters to approve it, and they’ve lost every single time.

North Carolina was the last state in the South to add an amendment to their constitution, and some speculated that it only did it to quash gay rumors that have dogged the state for decades. South Carolina for one has consistently referred to North Carolina as the “Tar Chinned State” because it always “has its face stuck in some man’s crotch.”

I don’t care if gays marry or not, but I’m dumfounded that any gay dude would even want to get married. I view being a gay male kind of like winning the lottery. You don’t have kids, there’s no nagging wife, you get to drink and stay out late, and getting laid is about as easy as flashing a wink and a smile.

That seems awesome, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why you want to ruin that. If I was gay I would be out there campaigning against gay marriage because I’d never want the good times to end.

I have to assume fat lesbians are behind this, and this is just a nefarious plot against gay men. They’re jealous because gay dudes have such awesome lives, and much like any villain, they can’t stand it when people are happy.