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go Members of some Asian group at Duke University squinted their eyes extra hard and filed a complaint with the university after the Kappa Sigma fraternity threw an “International Relations” party where people dressed up as Asians.

Oh no, I’m so offended. Hot chicks wore kimonos and put chopsticks in their hair for a night. That’s so terrible. I hope they didn’t bow a lot, too, because I really hate it when hot eighteen-year-olds bend over repeatedly and I get to look down their shirts. There should be some kind of law against that.

Is this literally where we are now? We’ve totally run out of legitimate acts of racial discrimination, and we’re throwing rallies and condemning frat parties. Prior generations ended segregation and faced fire hoses and dogs, while these little twats get on their iPads and compete to show how intolerantly tolerant they are.

And the thing that really irks me about these sanctimonious little douchebags is their demand that each fraternity member publicly atone for their crimes and participate in a community social justice project.

What would that be, pray tell?

Are they supposed to feed some bums? Go to some ghetto community center? I know, they could hold a rally for justice. That way, they could all stand in a big stupid herd, prattle on about how open minded they are and then go spend some of mommy and daddy’s money at Starbucks.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to be extra mean to my next Asian prostitute, and it’s all your fault Asian student club.

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