, , , , ,

Sarah Jones, a former Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader with a smoking hot body, was indicted for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a sixteen-year-old football player at the high school where she was a teacher.

The student has denied anything happened, and his family has voiced their support for Ms. Jones. Nonetheless, the attention-seeking DA has decided to proceed with charges, and if convicted, Ms. Jones could receive up to ten years in prison.

First off, it’s impossible for a male high school student to be molested by an attractive woman. If you’re a guy in high school, and you somehow manage to bang a hot older woman, you magically become a man the second her pants hit the floor. It doesn’t matter if your chronological age is fourteen or seventeen. You’re now allowed to vote, drive and buy cigarettes just because you’re a bad-ass, and you deserve it.

Age of consent laws should only apply to underage girls. Once a dude hits puberty, we’re on a quest to bang something . . .anything. If you somehow manage to hit the lottery and bang a sweet MILF, well good for you.

No crime was committed, and they should put a picture of you in the trophy case next to all the sports awards. After all, those trophies were all given for scoring, and you scored in the only way that really matters. Now take a victory lap young man. You earned it.