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In 1984 an amazing documentary entitled Footloose told the story of young Kevin Bacon’s move from the big city of Chicago to live with his aunt and uncle in rural Bomont. The locals were slow to embrace the brash city kid, but after he won a game of tractor chicken, they adopted him as one of their own.

The only remaining problem was that Kevin loved to dance, but a stuffy local minister had convinced the town to ban both dancing and rock music. Luckily, Kevin was able to use both sweet dance moves and an inspiring speech to soften the minister’s hard heart and ultimately win the day.

By the end of the documentary, the kids were allowed to hold their prom, and the minister and his wife even danced together for first time in years.

A few local Afghans from the Musa Qala district of Helman province took inspiration from this tale of youthful exuberance, and they decided to throw a dance party late last week to get their groove on. Unfortunately, local Taliban members proved more stubborn than Bomont’s minister, and seventeen of the attendees were decapitated.

The Taliban ruled Afghanistan from 1996 to 2001, and all music and movies were banned during their regime. Women were also treated as animals, and like pets, they were not allowed to leave the home unless escorted by a male family member.

As America winds down its occupation, this stifling dictatorship will be reimposed and Afghanistan will once again be a land of crushing poverty, religious extremism and a fertile breeding ground for terrorists.

Instead of spending over a decade trying to pacify this godforsaken land, we would have been better off building a giant magnifying glass and frying all of them like ants. I’ll happily vote for any candidate who promises to make that happen.

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