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I know what you’re thinking. That’s not surprising at all. Fat lonely women surrounded by cats are ticking psychological time bombs, and no amount of Cathy comic strips or Facebook likes are going to give meaning to their miserable lives.

At least with the warm embrace of death, something would actually touch them without recoiling in disgust.

These are all valid and true points, but according to the Daily Mail, a recent study found that female cat owners often contract the parasite T. gondii from their cat’s litter box. The parasite is common in cat’s intestines and easily passes to humans once they come into contact with cat turds. The parasite can then cause changes in behavior and even lead to suicide.

The study found that women infected with T. gondii were one-and-a-half times more likely to attempt suicide than women who were not infected, but the scientists claimed further studies were required to show a definitive link.

I’m no scientist, but the parasite might not be the real culprit here. I have a hunch that women over 30 who bought the Sex and the City box set and/or the Twilight series probably have the same suicide risk as people infected with toxoplasmosis. These are only symptoms, not the cause.