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Amazing Michael Abramson has started a company called DrinkSavvy, Inc. which is developing cups, straws and stirrers that are designed to detect the presence of so-called date-rape drugs.

The idea is that if anyone drops a roofie in your drink the products will change color, and you can then play detective and try to figure out who was planning to have sex with your limp and lifeless body later in the evening.

The products are scheduled to be tested in Boston this fall and should be available to the public early next year, but there’s one little problem. They’re ridiculous and stupid, and only a moron would buy them.

Date-rape drugs are a myth. No guy is going to lace your Appletini with a knock-out pill and then try to whisk you back to his place to violate you. Plus, it’s completely unnecessary if you’re already in a bar.

There’s no need for us to open some hidden compartment in our signet ring and dump knock-out powder in your beverage. Alcohol is a magic elixir that was made by Jesus himself to help us get your disease-ridden panties on the floor, and we’re just going to keep buying you drinks until you puke, leave or sleep with us.

It’s not that complicated.

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