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The Nineteen Amendment to the Constitution passed in 1920 and gave women the right to vote. Like many of my readers, I feel this was a tremendous mistake, and one which we as a nation can and must rectify.

As I was sitting on my porch last night drinking and trying to blame the decline of America on various other races it finally hit me. It wasn’t them; it was women. Those horrible, horrible women.

The first clue was when I started thinking about who was the last president who had facial hair. Do you know who it was? It was William Howard Taft. He sported that sweet mustache you see off to the right. He left office in 1913, and every single president who has been elected since women received the right to vote has been clean shaven.

Facial hair is a sign of masculinity. As long as you’re not in San Francisco, if you see a man with a moustache, that’s the guy you want to talk to about car advice. The little clean-shaven guy is the one you want to ask about finding a good order of Quiche Lorraine.

Facial hair is really just a symptom of the problem. We used to elect real men. Now that candidates have to appeal to women, we get neutered pansies who trip over themselves to seem more tolerant and caring.

If you don’t want to do anything drastic, let’s take a test run. I say we don’t let women vote in the next presidential election, and we’ll see what kind of president we get. If he does ok, maybe we’ll extend it for another election. Trust me, you won’t regret it.