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Marylou’s, a popular coffee shop chain on Massachusetts’ Irish Riviera, has been the victim of a federal witch-hunt accusing it of discriminatory hiring practices. Their alleged crime? They only hire hot young chicks with nice racks to serve their coffee and snacks.

Wow, that’s terrible. I know there’s nothing I hate more than big breasted, barely legal teens serving me coffee with a jiggle and a giggle. The EEOC better put an end to that right now. God forbid lonely men have one brief ray of sunshine in their otherwise bleak and miserable lives.


According to the chain’s owner, the EEOC has pored through thousands of rejected applications to build a case. Investigators even reached out to two old and gross women, who were correctly denied employment, and asked them to file a formal complaint.

These two old bats happily complied, and I’m sure the fact that the standard payout for an EEOC shakedown is over $50,000 in no way influenced their decision.

What’s next? Is the EEOC going to sue television producers for only casting attractive women in their shows? Will they go after Hooters again? Maybe they should switch gears, look in-house and investigate why the U.S. government only hires morons. I’m sure plenty of people who are not imbeciles have been unjustly denied employment, and the EEOC should do something about it.

I’m just glad I don’t have long to worry about this. Hopefully our coming military dictatorship will do away with the EEOC and end their extortion racket permanently.

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