Dominos pretty much admitted their pizza was awful and did a taste re-boot. Since I typically don’t eat ethnic food, I was slow to try it. Last thing I want is to eat a piece of pizza and then feel strangely compelled to go to a tanning bed and start doing the guinea fist pump every time I hear a song I like.

Well, I finally tried it, and the verdict is in. It’s awful. It was so bad I assumed I got a bad pie, and I drove fifteen miles to another Domino’s just to get another one. It wasn’t quite as bad, but it was still terrible.

The first thing I noticed was the garlic. It looked like it had been put on with a shovel. Unless you’re fighting vampires for a living, there is no need to eat this much garlic. There was also some mystery yellow fluid all over the crust. Was it piss? Butter? I don’t know, but there was a lot of it.

I also think there was a lot of sugar in the sauce, but I may be wrong here. I bought a 2 liter of Sprite to wash it down, and that could have been confusing the taste.

I guess Codajoy.com can forget about those lucrative Domino’s advertising dollars.

Here’s an idea, instead of improving your terrible pizza, why don’t you just steal the recipe from someone doing it better. I used to love Gumby’s pizza, but I was always drunk when we went there, so it could have been terrible. How about Papa John’s? They seem to have their shit together. Just do what they do.