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According to the Census Bureau, whites are now a minority of births in the United States, and this trend is going to accelerate in the coming years. The median age of whites is now 42, and most white women are moving out of their childbearing years. Latinos on the other hand are at peak fertility, and thanks to Taco Bell’s affordable value menu, can afford to feed their ever-growing families.

I know liberals applaud this demographic shift, but in the future, how will they continue to live in their trendy white neighborhoods while lecturing the rest of us about the benefits of multiculturalism? And who will make that god-awful “sensitive-guy” music that forms the soundtrack for their lives?

I for one plan to embrace my new minority status, and since I’m lazy and love to complain, I can now blame the government for oppressing me whenever things don’t go my way. If my new Mexican boss decides to ride my ass because I keep coming to work drunk, I’ll just scream discrimination and wait for my sweet EEOC settlement.

It’s a brave new world out there, and I plan to milk that sucker until there’s nothing left but a dried husk.