Disney just announced that it’s going to stop accepting junk food ads on its shows and websites aimed at kids. The new rule won’t go into effect until 2015 because of existing advertising contracts, but when it does, the stations and sites won’t feature any foods that don’t meet nutritional standards.
As a parent, I could care less if Disney tries to peddle candy to my fat-assed kids. The good thing about junk food is that it’s cheap, as opposed to the hundreds of other products Disney pushes during their commercial breaks. Call me a bad parent, but I’d much rather spend a dollar and get my kids some Skittles than fork over $50 for some toy they’re going to forget about in a week anyway.
Junk food gets a bad rap, but it can be a parent’s best friend. After the initial sugar-rush wears off, you’ll find the resulting obesity, and if you’re really lucky, diabetes, really takes the pep out of their step.
And much like a dog trainer uses food to encourage certain behaviors in animals, you can do the same thing with your kids. Once they get good and dependent on that sweet, sweet sugar, you can use it to make them do just about anything.
When they’re fully trained you can even balance cookies on their noses and have them flip them up in the air and catch them in their mouths. I promise that move is a real crowd pleaser, and every time I do it, I’m met with stares of stunned disbelief.
So remember, junk food is your friend, not your enemy. If used correctly it can be a key weapon in your parenting arsenal.