, , ,

Does that man off to the right look like someone who would buy enemas at CVS, use them, glue the boxes back together and return them for a refund? If you said yes, you’re right.

According to authorities, Ronald Eugene Robinson, 34, of Jacksonville, Florida was arrested and is facing federal charges for tempering with consumer products. He allegedly used up to a dozen enemas, which were then returned to store shelves.

As an added bonus, some of the enemas were then resold to unsuspecting shoppers.

I have two problems with this. One, this guy is seriously screwed up. I have a few strange sexual fetishes myself, but this isn’t like paying a hooker to dress up like my mom. This is just disgusting.

Second, why in the hell were these things put back on the shelf? If I buy a product intended to go into my ass, I’d like to at least think I’m the first owner. I just assumed things like that were discarded and taken as tax write-off if they were ever returned to the store.

I’m fairly certain I’ll never comfortably buy a thermometer or toothbrush again. At some point I’ll wonder if some lunatic bought it, used it and returned it. Does my toothbrush really taste like some guy used it to clean his sack, or is it just my imagination running wild? Sadly, I’ll never know.