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The great state of Virginia is one of eight that still have a law on the books prohibiting crimes against nature. According to the 1950 Code of Virginia, it’s illegal to bang animals or to perform “cunnilingus, fellatio, anilingus or anal intercourse.”

I wish there was a recording of this statute being written because I have a hunch listening to a bunch of old men from 60 years ago using the words anilingus and fellatio would be hilarious. I have to imagine at least one of them sounded like Foghorn Leghorn as he bellowed about sodomy, yes I say sodomy, and how it’s the devil’s tool.

In 2003 in the case of Lawrence vs. Texas the Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws for consenting adults, but Virginia kept theirs on the books but only uses it when an adult performs one of the prohibited acts with a minor.

You’d think that Fredericksburg City police captain and head of the detectives division, Brent Mitchell Taylor, would have been familiar with that law before he met an underage boy online, took him to a seedy motel and then had sex with him. I guess he wasn’t because he was just indicted for using a computer to solicit a minor, committing crimes against nature and for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

It’s kind of funny to think back to the problems I’ve had with the Fredericksburg Police Department only to realize their top detective was a child molester. Who’s the big man now, captain? I’ll think about you after you’re sentenced when I bend over to get my soap and don’t have to worry about anyone committing crimes against nature on my balloon knot.