GeorgeHamilton1 For a short while last year my hometown had a dipshit who dressed up as a scary clown in order to pop out and frighten children.

I imagine this sort of nonsense plays a lot better in Canada than central Virginia because this genius made the rookie mistake of scaring a little girl in front of her drunk redneck dad, who then used his own comically oversized work boots to stomp a clown-hole in Pennywise’s Ass.

Justified beatings aside, our society is constantly on edge, and last Sunday at Los Angeles International Airport a guy who makes his living dressing up as characters to take pictures with tourists on Hollywood Boulevard thought it would be a good idea to go to the airport dressed as Zorro to pick someone up.

Predictably, someone saw his plastic sword and called the cops, who responded by pulling their non-plastic guns and briefly detaining him. After a short while the LAPD realized the guy’s plastic sword was far less dangerous than the untreated syphilis lurking behind his soiled mask, so they let him go.

But, we’re still left with the issue of who is to blame here. I’d love to blame politicians because of the distrust they’ve sown by not realizing that their heavy-handed social engineering is a lot like a cock, and if it gets rammed down your throat enough times, you’ll eventually fight back.

But, that blame is misplaced. I think the lion’s share of culpability has to go to the American public and their lack of basic common fucking sense.

Everyone in this scenario is an idiot. You don’t go to the airport in a costume, you don’t freak out when you see a plastic sword, and you don’t draw your guns when faced with a paunchy middle-aged guy dressed as a c-rate character.

I know the government frowns on IQ tests, but we might need to start using them again. Maybe there’s an increase in solar radiation making us stupider, or perhaps we’re being poisoned by the chemicals in our food, but I just can’t escape the conclusion people are getting dumber by the day.

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