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Shizuka Make no mistake; this isn’t any run-of-the mill bird crap. It’s genuine imported Asian nightingale poop, and for a mere $180 the good folks at the Shizuka New York skin care salon, just off Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue, will mix it with rice bran and smear it all over your face.

The salon’s owner, Shizuka Bernstein, pictured off to the right, is married to a prominent Manhattan dermatologist, and she claims she is committed to bringing Japanese beauty secrets to America.

One of those secrets is apparently this bird poop treatment, but she refers to it as the “Geisha facial” because Geishas supposedly used it for hundreds of years to keep their skin clear and silky smooth.

Oddly enough, years before I got married I used to go to an Asian massage parlor, and I also opted to end my treatments with the Geisha facial. The only difference was I wasn’t the one getting something smeared all over my face.

According to Mrs. Bernstein the nightingale poop is completely safe and sanitary and you don’t just squeeze a bird like a toothpaste tube until it poops all over the client. The waste is carefully collected in Japan, where it is dried and sent to the U.S. as a sanitary powder.

So, if you’re in Manhattan and want to drop a few hundred bucks on something mind-numbingly stupid, feel free to pop in to the Shizuka New York skin care salon.