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Caroline County is nestled snugly in central Virginia, and it doesn’t have many claims to fame.

William Clark from the Lewis and Clark expedition was born here, and 155 years after his death, he kind of inspired the name of the ABC show Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

The county was the birthplace of Secretariat, a racehorse who won the Triple Crown over forty years ago. Tamerlan Tsarnaev, one of the filthy cowards who carried out the Boston Marathon bombing, was also inexplicably buried here.

But now we’re in the news after a horrifying hot air balloon crash claimed the lives of three people last Friday evening.

Natalie Lewis, Ginny Doyle and their pilot, Daniel Kirk, took off in their balloon around 8:00 p.m. as part of the first inaugural Mid-Atlantic Balloon Festival’s “Friday Flights Happy Hour.”

The balloon was among 13 that lifted off, but it hit a power line at some point after take-off and burst into flames.

According to witnesses, they could hear the passengers screaming for help as the balloon was consumed by fire, and it’s unclear whether the passengers fell or jumped to the deaths.

I was actually given a gift certificate for a balloon ride as an anniversary gift a few years ago, and I threw the goddamned thing in the trash. While I understand that hot air balloon crashes have only killed 114 people since 1967, the idea of climbing into a wicker basket tethered to an uncontrollable sack of warm air just seems like a terrible idea.

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