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The British Broadcast Committee of Advertising Practice ruled Friday that private abortion clinics could advertise their services on television, and there was no justification for banning them. I’m sure their ads are going to be tasteful, but I’d love to a see at least one where the Benny Hill theme plays in the background while a bunch of nurses and abortion doctors chase a fetus in and out of the different rooms in the clinic.

On a serious note, just how competitive is the British abortion market? Is the Thump & Dump going to have a price war with the Bareback and Vac? I wonder if there will be coupons, or maybe even a “good customer” discount for sluts.

I’m not sure anyone has ever done this before, but they should also consider gift cards. If you’re a guy who gets a ton of action, you could even leave one on her pillow as you leave. You know, like a gentleman.