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funny-toilet We’ve all had “aha moments,” and one of mine occurred on July 7, 2009. I was wiping my infant daughter’s ass with a baby wipe, and I thought, why am I not using these things, too?

Baby wipes are awesome, and they just make so much sense.

You don’t clean your hands with a dry towel, and you shouldn’t be wiping your ass with a dry piece of toilet paper. With moistened wipes it’s almost like giving your butt a little bath every time you hit the toilet, and I’m not saying my life has been perfect since I discovered them, but it’s been much improved.

But leave it to the government to see things differently, and localities across the country are complaining that these gossamer gifts from heaven are overwhelming local sewer systems, and they’re being forced to spend millions of dollars to install grinders to shred the wipes before they clog sewer pumps.

Instead of flushing the wipes, these localities are recommending they be thrown in the trash, which is stupid and gross. Maybe next they can suggest we all build outhouses and shit in a hole in the ground in our back yards.

I guess another solution would be to install a bidet, but I’m not really keen on taking off my pants and shoes every time I want to clean up after a dump. Nope, I think I’ll just keep flushing wipes and then piss and moan when my sewage bill doubles because they have to install more of these shredders.

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