These fellas agree with me

According to a study that was recently presented to the American Sociological Association, women who are attractive and educated are less likely to be lesbians than their uglier, more poorly-educated peers.

The study’s author, Elizabeth McClintock, is an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Notre Dame, and according to her work, women may have a more adaptive sexuality than men.

According to Ms. McClintock, hot women are desired by men and have no need to turn lesbo. However, less attractive women may not find the same success with male partners, so they start to cast a wider net until they eventually find someone who doesn’t recoil from their doughy, troll-like touch.

This also helps explain late-in-life lesbians like Meredith Baxter and Kelly McGillis. When they were young, they were smoking hot and adored by men everywhere. Once they got old and gross, they had to change teams.

If you still doubt me, a simple experiment proves my point. If you put ten gay men and straight men in a room, aside from the mincing mannerisms and outfits that actually match, it’s hard to tell a gay guy from a straight guy.

If you conduct the same experiment with women, I’m guessing you’d have a higher success rate.

It’s a well-known scientific fact that most lesbians have what doctors call a “Barney Rubble body,” and once you single out those with little barrel torsos, stubby arms and thick necks, you’re halfway home.