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Early last week U.S. Secret Service agents went to Cartagena, Columbia to provide President Obama’s advanced security for the upcoming Summit of the Americas. While some agents reportedly treated it like a vacation and drank heavily on the government’s tab, at least one agent decided to curtail the out-of-control spending. When it came time to pay his hooker, Dania, the $47 he owed her, he stiffed her. Since prostitution is basically legal in Columbia, she filed a complaint and voila, a scandal was born.

I understand Latin America is basically one big brothel, but this blows my mind. One of the men entrusted with protecting the life of the President of the United States of America doesn’t have enough sense to use a high-dollar call girl service that shows some discretion. He then creates international headlines by not paying her the equivalent cost of a bottle of Hennessy.

I interviewed with the Secret Service as an intelligence analyst years ago, and I’m actually surprised a female prostitute was involved. The whole DC office gave off a decidedly gay vibe, and it’s the only time in my life where I’ve caught an interviewer looking at my crotch. I guess my bulge was inadequate because I didn’t get the job, and that’s their loss. I could at least have chosen a whore who wasn’t a little blabber mouth.

I guess you almost have to feel a little sorry for the dumbasses involved here. All of their careers are over, and since most were married, I’d expect divorce papers to be filed. Then again, it’s tough to have a lot of sympathy for guys making six-figure salaries who can’t even get laid without screwing it up.

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