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Alex is an asshole. How do I know that? Just look at his dry-cleaning receipt. It says so right there as clear as day.

Alex insists he’s not an asshole, but what little I know about him seems to contradict that. For one, people don’t tend to give you the name asshole on receipts for no reason. Trust me, I’m an asshole, and I know.

Two, instead of just taking his business elsewhere, he had “a friend” post his little receipt online at some site called The Consumerist and pissed and moaned about how “his friend” is really a great guy and didn’t deserve that horribly accurate name.

He also went on and on about how the dry cleaner wouldn’t initially give him the order for free because he “felt disrespected” and his widdle feelings were hurt.

That’s exactly what an asshole would do.

You want to know who’s not an asshole, the employee who not only put that in the computer but then coolly handed him the receipt knowing that Asshole, Alex would need it to pick up his dry-cleaning. That’s the kind of cold indifference to both customer service and other people’s feelings I truly respect.