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To answer that question, no, we’re not. We’re becoming something only slightly less annoying; a country where everything is prohibited unless you can prove it’s legal.

Last Thursday a man in New Jersey, Frank Roder, took his five-year-old son down to the river to feed some ducks. Since all children are morons, his son bailed out of the family’s Jeep as soon as it came to a stop at the edge of a steep embankment.

Frank jumped out and managed to grab his son before he ran over the ledge, but he didn’t set the brake, and the Jeep rolled down into the river and had to be towed out.

The crack Union County police force then decided that Frank had acted recklessly when he jumped out of his vehicle to save his son. He was issued a ticket for not setting his handbrake and another one for not being able to provide proof of insurance because the card was “floating somewhere in the vehicle,” which was in the river.

When exactly was this guy supposed to set his handbrake? Should he have done it after his son fell off the ledge and tumbled to the river below? I’m pretty sure he would have been charged with something else if that happened.

This comes on the heels of another New Jersey man who was driving through Tennessee with $22,000 to buy a vehicle. When he was pulled for speeding, the cop asked to search his car. When he found the cash he confiscated it on the suspicion it was going to be used in a criminal enterprise. Keep in mind the guy was never charged with a crime, but his money was confiscated on a mere suspicion.

Our country has too many goddamned laws, and I propose no new laws can be made without old ones being removed. And they can’t just remove the crazy old laws like “it’s illegal to wash a mule on the sidewalk.” Which, by the way, is illegal in my hometown.

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