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nerd-love In a recent paper published in the journal Trends in Genetics, Stanford University researcher Gerald Crabtree suggests that humans may be getting dumber. He also speculated that human intelligence may have actually peaked when we were still hunter-gatherers.

On some level this makes sense. Life in prehistoric times must have been a nightmare. There was no such thing as food stamps, and if you were an idiot, you starved to death. Now, the government actually rewards you for being stupid. If you have kids you can’t support, they send you a check. If you cut off a finger at work because you can’t operate a saw without hurting yourself, you get money.

I know one guy who just decided he was tired of working and started going to a shrink with fake psychological problems so he could claim disability. Now, along with the six million other people who have gone on Social Security disability since Obama took office, he gets to sit on his ass and do nothing while working taxpayers pick up the tab.

While it’s clear socialism makes you worthless and lazy, I doubt it makes you dumber. I also don’t see why primitive man would need to be all that smart. The Australian Aborigines were still in the Stone Age two hundred years ago, and from what little I learned about them from the Crocodile Dundee movies, they’re still half naked and carry spears now.

If anything, society as a whole is getting dumber because it’s so difficult to get nerds to mate outside of captivity. In the old days, their parents just paired a male nerd to a female nerd, and after a few months of fumbling sex, the female eventually got pregnant. Now that no one is aggressively mating these dorks, their numbers, and society’s IQ, are in decline.