Mel On January 3rd, 1956 a strange star was seen over the town of Peekskill, NY. If there had been any wise men in Westchester county they would have followed its light to a baby Mel Gibson who was still wrapped in his swaddling clothes as he was tended by angels.

Exactly like Jesus, young Mel was also hunted by the Jews and his family eventually journeyed all the way to Australia to escape their sinister clutches.

There young Mel thrived. His talent and charisma wowed all he met, and he went on to star in every single Australian movie made between 1974 and 1985. Unfortunately, much like the holy land, Australia is a barren desert and Mel knew if he was to truly share his talents with the world, he had to risk the wrath of Herod and return to the U.S.

After returning home Mel Gibson became America’s biggest star, but the Jews patiently bided their time and waited for an opportunity to attack.

Preying on poor Mel’s alcoholism, they took his homophobic, anti-semetic, racist and misogynistic comments out of context and nearly destroyed him.

But Mel Gibson is made from sterner stuff, and he has triumphantly returned to star in the movie Expendables 3.

I had no desire to even see this movie because I hated the last one so much, but my dick-head brother-in-law insisted, and unlike his choice in a wife, this selection was spot on.

The movie itself wasn’t that good, but Mel Gibson truly owned every scene he was in. He played international arms dealer Conrad something or other. Stonebanks? I was fairly drunk and don’t remember all the details, but suffice to say Mel was transcendent.

While those other old hacks just bumbled through their scenes looking for a payday, Mel Gibson played his part with a sinister malevolence that reminded everyone of his brilliance and amazing talent.

God bless you Mel Gibson.