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pat Televangelist Pat Robertson has stated that he has a yearly conversation with God, and during their one-on-one meetings, God tells him what to expect during the coming year.

Unfortunately, it appears the details sometimes get garbled with all the other voices in his head because he doesn’t have a great track record of predicting the future.

Back in the late 70s he predicted the world would end in 1982. He also prophesized a sweeping Romney victory last year, and we know how that worked out.

Unable to predict what’s going to happen, Pat has decided to focus on the present, and I think he may have found his calling. He is a born again marriage counselor.

During a recent episode of his daily television show, The 700 Club, he discussed a letter from a woman who called herself Ivy. She was distraught because her husband cheated on her, and she was unable to forgive him.

Lucky for her, Counselor Pat was in fine form and ready to dish out sage advice. He basically blamed her for her husband’s infidelity, and dropped a little male psychology on her.

“Like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit,” Robertson said. “What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander.”

A-fucking men, Pat. It’s like I tell my wife. If you weren’t always on my ass to watch the kids, clean up the house, or wake up and go to work, I wouldn’t hide under the stairs in the basement and get drunk in the dark all the time. This is basically your fault.