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Caroline Lovell was described by many as a crusader for the home birthing movement. She frequently spoke out about the need for midwives to have adequate funding and legal protection. In a submission to the Australian government, she said she would have no choice but to give birth at home by herself if midwives weren’t given these protections.

Guess what, she did have another choice, and it’s called a goddamn hospital. You know what a hospital is, right? It’s that thing Mrs. Lovell was rushed to after going into cardiac arrest while giving birth at home.

For thousands of years people had their kids at home, and for thousands of years mothers and children frequently died during the process. In 1900 the maternal death rate at birth was about 1 in 100 in the United States. A century later it was 16 per 100,000. That’s a decline of about 86%. In Italy the rate is only 3.9 deaths per 100,000 births.

I feel bad for this woman, and her husband and daughters, but having a kid at home is just dumb. If you’re not going to do it for yourself, do it for your kid. If something goes wrong during the birth at a hospital a team can respond in under a minute. And if you’re like me and your wife squeezed your hand so hard during birth she actually dislocated one of your fingers, a nice nurse is always close at hand to pop it right back into place.