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My local abortion clinic, affectionately known as the Rape n’ Scrape, is a great place to meet single women. The best part is there aren’t any prudes there. All of these chicks put out, and as an added bonus, they don’t want kids.

As with everything worth doing, you have to put some effort in here. You can’t just stand out in front of the clinic and ask women for their phone numbers. These ladies are in the process of making an incredibly difficult decision, and they’re feeling weak and vulnerable. Luckily, you can use that to your advantage.

Many abortion clinics ask for volunteers to act as safety escorts. These escorts shelter the women as they enter and exit the clinic from harassment by pro-life protestors. This is the job you want. You’ll be their protector, and while walking them to the clinic, mention that you’re also a counselor. You’ll need to have a few business cards made up in advance, and give her one. Let her know she can call you anytime to talk.

Look, I realize this sounds like a lot of work, but it’s worth it. And, once you hook up with them, feel free to ditch the condom. That way you can do the whole thing again in a few months.