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In the next month or two, Detroit is going to run out of money. If that happens paychecks will not be issued, city services will grind to a halt, and even the street lights will go out in some areas.

There was a plan in place allowing the state to appoint a manager to take responsibilities away from the bungling Democratic-controlled city government, but a judge just blocked it over concerns it violates the state’s Open Meetings Act.

I think violations of this Act are the least of the city’s concerns. Detroit is so rundown they would have to carry out massive repairs simply to make it a shithole. Aside from Gary, Indiana, it’s the only place I’ve ever seen that made Newark look good. It’s like driving around a post-apocalyptic wasteland of burned out houses and wild dogs.

Lucky for Detroit, I have a solution. Instead of paying $53 million a year to subsidize its struggling bus line, the city should transform it into a “Ghetto Tour” line. This would be a money-making machine, and I think people would come from all over the world to see this monument to failure.

In order to really liven it up, you could even pay crack-heads to periodically pop out of bushes and garbage cans to frighten the passengers. We would probably have to electrify the exteriors of the buses to keep them from getting robbed, but that’s no big deal. We might also want to consider a rifleman with a tranquilizer gun on the roof, but that just enhances the whole safari aspect of it all.

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