, , ,

The Occupy Wall Street kids have raised the banner of social revolution, and they’re going to remake society, one bong hit at a time.

Morons love a good protest. They can congregate in a little herd, discuss issues they don’t really understand, and unite against a common enemy in a way that’s totally pointless, but gives them a sense that they’ve accomplished something.

In the past, their numbers were controlled by natural selection. They couldn’t protest for long because if they didn’t work, they would starve. Club wielding policeman were also a natural predator, and garbled Marxist rhetoric didn’t really provide much of a defense against an Irish cop’s nightstick.

Now, the tables have turned. The government’s social programs reward people for not working, indulgent parents provide additional support, and media pundits and politicians enable this pointless behavior.

The whole ecosystem has been destroyed. The delicate balance that kept these dumbasses in check has been upset, and they’re now threatening to multiply beyond our control.

Lucky for America, Mike Codajoy stepped in and did what needed to be done. I bought a bunch of granola and cheap street drugs and laced them with compound 1080. That is the poison used in Australia to keep non-native mammals from competing with native wildlife, and I’m fairly certain it will work on hippies.

I follow the law, and I contacted the EPA to get a permit to poison these hippies, and I was denied! According to our left-wing government, hippies are not vermin, and I am not allowed to make, sell or distribute poison for their eradication.

Are you serious? How are they not vermin? I just looked up the word, and the definition applies to “pests that are harmful and carry disease.” Am I missing something here?