This idea keeps popping up in movies, literature and on television because at their core, most men would like to hunt other men for sport. Don’t even act like you haven’t thought about it because I know you have.

You remember that fat kid sitting all alone at the bus stop the other day? I don’t believe for a second you didn’t imagine how fun it would be to chase him on horseback while that little butterball tried to run for cover.

His fat little thighs rubbing together as sprinted the final two hundred feet to his house. Perspiration rolling off his forehead in buckets. Two chunky little fists clenched in a grim determination to escape.

Not today, piggy. Not today. But look on the bright side. Since you’re under the age limit, I’m just going to tie you up like a portly little calf and leave you in the yard. Someone will find you. I think your strangely hot mom gets home at 6:00pm. She’ll untie you then.

I hate to keep beating a dead horse here, but hunting the homeless is also an option. We could have a hobo round-up, take them to the country and release them. After a suitable head start, we begin the hunt.

I don’t even see why this is a crime. Is it a crime?

Hmmmm, that was an interesting phone call. According to the Fredericksburg PD it is definitely a crime.

Share