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A few weeks ago, while not looking for pornography on my wife’s laptop, I found some pretty amazing pornography. It was something literally new and exciting to me. Was it a new position? A new use for that tired old glory hole? How about a freak of nature that was more donkey than man?

It was none of those things. It was a niche that’s been around for a few years, but I’ve somehow missed. Companies are remaking family sitcoms as porn parodies. They’re hiring porn actors and actresses who look somewhat like the original characters and recreating the shows.

After a day’s worth of research, I have to say the Seinfeld one was probably the best. Mercifully, the dead ringer for George Costanza was only used for comedy relief, and his clothes stayed safely on. Watching Jerry and Elaine do hardcore on a perfect replica of the Seinfeld set was also nowhere near as frightening as I imagined.

The guy who portrayed Bill Cosby (thankfully, also fully clothed) in The Cosby Show parody was amazing. For a few brief seconds in between money shots, it almost felt like I was watching The Cosby Show.

Sadly, it seems no one has made a porn parody of The Andy Griffith Show. I had a scene all sketched out in my mind of a furious encounter between Aunt Bee and Floyd The Barber. He would come into her kitchen and ask for a taste of her famous pie, and it would just get dirtier from there. Unfortunately, it looks like this one will have to remain a figment of my fevered imagination.